Morten vs. The Dry Cleaner
M: After you cleaned it the shirt has several ugly stains!
DC: We’ll fix it.
1 week later
M: Where’s my shirt?
DC: Can’t find it. Come back in one week.
1 week later
M: Where’s my shirt?
DC: It got ruined in the wash. We will replace it. Come back in one week.
1 week later
M: These replacement shirts look nothing like the original!
DC: Closest match.
M: Give me money and I will buy a new shirt for myself.
DC: Sorry, replace only.
M: But my shirt was custom tailored!
DC: We will use old shirt to make alterations to the new one. Come back in two weeks.
M: I am tall, skinny and have unusually long arms. You need a special shirt to start with. It won’t work.
DC: Come back in two weeks.
4 weeks later
M: Where’s my shirt?
DC: Here. It’s a perfect match to old one.
M: Mmmmmm… doesn’t look like it to me.
DC: Yes! Take it home and try it and you’ll see it fits.
Morten takes the shirt home and tries it on. It doesn’t fit:
M: The shirt is all wrong. The arms are too short and too wide, and whatever the tailor did to the back makes it look like it was customized for He-Man or someone with wings!
DC: No no, it was matched perfectly to the old shirt.
M: Here is a second shirt I got customized with the first one. The old one and this one were identical. As you can see, the new one you made is all wrong.
DC: Go to our main location and talk to the manager.
At the main location talking to the manager:
M: Hello Manager, we talked on the phone. As you can see these two shirts are not the same.
Ma: We can fix it.
M: How? The arms are too short! And the shoulders are stitched to fit He-Man!
Ma: It is the same size shirt.
M: No it’s not. Mine is “Slim-fit” with “extra long arms”. Yours is “regular fit” with “regular” arms.
Ma: We can fix it.
M: Give me money to replace the shirt at the store I bought it and get it altered there.
Ma: But we already spent money on this shirt and got it tailored.
M: I told you it wouldn’t work because I have long arms. You insisted on doing it any way. It’s not my problem that you don’t listen to your customers.
Ma: The reason it is a different size is beacuse you washed the shirt.
M: You need to stop sniffing dry-cleaning products. The shirt is new. It still has your tailor’s paper tag stapled to the collar and the product label on the sleeve.
Ma: We can fix it.
M: Again, stop sniffing dry-cleaning products. You can’t fix it.
Ma: We already spent the money.
M: I’m calling the cops.
Ma: Go buy a new shirt. We will pay.
M: Thank you.